Thursday, June 16, 2011

Nadine’s List of Annoying Co-workers,……

This is Nadine's take on the different kinds of co-workers that most all of us have encountered at one time or another.
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Hey Friends, It’s Nadine again…Let’s talk…
The fact is most of us have to work for a living. Gone are the days where Mom stays at home, while Dad earns the family’s living. As for me, the kids are grown and I no longer have a spouse. This means that I am responsible for making my own living. Let’s face it, most of us do not get excited to go to work, this, added to the cast of characters we have to deal with everyday can make us feel physically and mentally wiped out. Working with the public is in itself a challenge, but what about the people you share those eight, ten or twelve hour shifts with?! Admit it some of them can send you right over the edge!!
With that being said here’s Nadine’s list of annoying co-workers:
  • Queen Bee: If you work in a place that has more than 1 woman you’ve got one!! She is determined to be in the center and in control of everything!! (Whether its her area or not).There‘s no party, get together or staff meeting that she does not try to make her own personal event. In her opinion the company would never make it without her. She is the first one to run to management with a complaint, or point out the shortcomings of a co-worker, yet she is genuinely offended if someone points out that she does the same thing. She complains constantly of being underpaid and overworked. She usually manages to push most of her work on others, yet makes more money than the other women (somebody please explain this!). If you’re still having a problem deciding who this is in your workplace. They will have large dents in their cheeks! This comes from sucking up so much their head’s in danger of collapse!!
  • Non-Worker: This is the one, after working with them for several years; you have yet to figure out exactly WHAT they do! They travel from office to office of co-workers throughout the day, telling stupid jokes, discussing politics, religion, etc. It does not faze them in the least that you do not respond or participate with them as they stand in your door and continue to babble on. Your strained expression as you look up from a stack of paperwork that you may never see the end of, is mistaken as being interested in what their saying. At this point you’re biting your tongue to keep from cussing them out! (just remember. they will probably be your Boss one day)
  • Need to Retire Co-Worker: This one has hasn’t contributed anything to the business in years. They should have retired a long time ago, but they can’t because their grown child that they are helping support couldn’t possibly make it if they did. They sit in their work space day after day talking on their phone to family members, and playing solitaire on the computer! Don’t ask me how they keep a job; I’m still trying to figure it out!!
  • The Sick Co-worker: This is the co-worker that feels the need to come to work with 102 degree fever. They are up and down the halls hacking, coughing, sneezing and standing within a foot of you telling you how awful they feel. GO HOME YOU IDIOT!!! ARE YOU JUST STUPID!!!?? I don’t want what you have! Go home and don’t come back until you’re better.
  • The Drama Queen Co-worker: OMG! Where do I start? Nothing is ever simple with them. Their kid never just gets s cold; they catch something that they could have only gotten if they had been to South America last week!!! This co-worker is definitely working toward an Oscar! They are on the phone constantly through their shift (if they show up), to check on their best friend’s, sister’s ex-husband who is having surgery, and they have to leave work early so that they can be there for them. They are also constantly in the middle of their grown children’s business, marriage, child-rearing, (for some reason the words white trash are on the tip of my tongue) how do I know? BECAUSE THEY TELL IT ALL IN THE BREAKROOM!!! And for some reason, your lack of comment, getting up and leaving in the middle of their story, it NEVER dawns on them that you don’t give a Rat’s A**!!! (Your tongue is bleeding now, having damn near bit it off to keep from screaming).
    • The Never-On Time Co-worker: This is the one who shows up 10 to 30 minutes late everyday. What’s wore they act as if everybody else has the problem. DO NOT SEND THEM ON A “QUICK” ERRAND OUTSIDE THE OFFICE!! A 30 minute trip will turn in to 2 ½ hours!! When they DO come back they have the audacity to hand you some of their work, because they have been so busy they have “gotten behind” (While you’re doing everything in your power NOT to come across your desk and choke them to the ground!!)
    • The Absentee Co-worker: (This may also be the Drama Queen) This one finds more excuses to call in, come in late or leave early in 1 month, than you could think of in a year!! They are also the one who NEVER brings their lunch! They sit beside you at the lunch table, and “could they just try a bite of yours?” They always use the excuse they work though lunch (funny how they do that in the cafeteria). Your smile nicely while all the time you want to scream “GO BUY YOUR OWN FREAKING LUNCH YOU MOOCH!!!!!”
    • The insecure/sensitive co-worker: this is the one who bursts into tears if someone asks her where the coffee filters are. They are so sensitive (paranoid) that they think every private meeting or conversation is about them or their performance. They need constant reassurance that they are needed, appreciated, etc. You dread asking them for any report because it’s followed by a barrage of excuses, a panicked look, quivering bottom lip and watery eyes (Grow a pair, would you??) Jeez!!
    • The Flirty Co-Worker: they spend more time trying to “Hook-Up” with other co-workers, you have no idea how they get anything else done. (I’ve seen this with male and female co-workers). Female co-workers that wear their tops so low and their skirts so short, that when they bend over there is NOTHING left to the imagination. (Some days you think you’re watching tryouts for a job at “Hooters”). Here’s a suggestion, if you wore to the Bar last weekend, it’s probably NOT appropriate for work!! And how about backing off the makeup! The stuff on their face looks like it was applied with a spatula!! The “who ME?” look of those drawn on eyebrows, along with the iridescent purple eye shadow, magenta blush, and a ½ gallon of your favorite Body Spray screams SKANK!! (Do you OWN a mirror?) You’re an embarrassment!!
    • The know-it-all Co-Worker: This one has done it all!! No matter what subject, idea, etc. presented in a meeting, they have “right’ solution! They start every suggestion with the words, “When I worked at…” which makes everyone roll their eyes, and mutter under their breath “I wish you were still there.” Any meeting they are in will go on an additional hour as they HAVE to go into EXTREME detail as to how their idea will solve every issue on the agenda, one by one! (Shut up you Know-it-all A**!! I want to be HOME at suppertime!!).

    I’m sure there are more personalities, I have left out. But these are the ones that make my head pound as I reach for the Rolaids!!
    The sad fact is you can’t change other people (no matter how we try damnit!). We have to find ways to deal with them, without committing a felony. I have walked in the door with a smile, and by the time I have dealt with any combination of these, I am ready to bite through steel!!
    At the present, I am using deep breathing, and soothing music, (I don’t know if it really helps, but it’s better than jail!).
    My next option is Heavy Pharmaceuticals!! (Will help with ability to smile in the face of an annoying co-worker).
    When you see a person wandering around the grocery store, Wal-Mart, etc. and they’re wearing a big, goofy smile…. They‘re not just a weirdo, probably just heavily medicated from dealing with an annoying co-worker!! So Be Kind!!
  • Until next time, Nadine Nadine

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