This is my second interview with a coach that has coached on the Plains at auburn. The first was with current North Alabama coach, Terry “Tater Tot” Bowden. This is a tongue in cheek type of interview that could have possibly went this way:
OB: Welcome to the interview coach.
CEC: Thank you OB.
OB: Coach, being a Bama fan, It pains me to congratulate you on last seasons championship. But I will say congrats.
CEC: *Looks around* Thank you OB. What is all this Alabama stuff doing here?
OB: Ummm, coach? I’m an Alabamal fan. It almost defines who I am. So coach?
The tigers lost several key players from last season. The SEC media didn’t even give you a vote to win the division. With that said, what are your predictions for the upcoming season.
CEC: *Sill looking around* You sure do have some nice Alabama stuff. Can I touch any of it?
OB: Ummm please don’t coach, now can you answer the question?
CEC: *Looking at the floor* I think we will be ok this season. We will surprise a lot of folks, just like last year. *Picking lint off his socks* We had the best players money coul,…. wait. let me rephrase that. We had the best players in key positions and this year we will just reload.
OB: *Watching lint fall in the floor* So you’re saying auburn will be good this year?
CEC: *Watching me watch lint fall in the floor* Where did you get that picture? It sure is pretty.
OB: Coach? auburn?
CEC: Oh yeah, right. Yes I think with the cash flo,…. I mean players coming back, we will just reload at key positions and simply outplay our opponents. We will become a dynasty in the SEC. And soon, we won’t have to pay, I mean offer scholarships. Everyone will just want to walk on to be an Auburn Tiger.
OB: Okie dokie. Coach at the SEC media days, Julie Roe Lach, of the NCAA said that the investigation on auburn football wasn’t over. Your thoughts now that you’ve had time to reflect.
CEC: (Actual quote via al.com) "All of the outside innuendo, speculations, rumors, all those different things, whether it be NCAA-related or otherwise, is just not a big part of what I concern myself with," he said. "I've said this many times. I feel great about where we are as a football program. I sleep really good every night that my head hits the pillow."
OB: Well that’s great. One more question coach. Who is the bigger puppet? Obama or you?
CEC: I think I weigh more but the president is taller. I would like to say that I believe in the “Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy.
OB: I think that applies to the military, coach.
CEC: Well it can apply to me at auburn, you don’t ask, I won’t tell.
OB: *Watching CEC pick up the lint and put it in his pocket* Thank you for you time coach.
CEC: You’re welcome OB.
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