Hidee ho thar footballs fans. My name is George Earl Johnson the III. My oldest brother is George Earl Johnson the I and his younger brother but still my other older brother is George Earl Johnson the II. We have a younger sister, Georgetta but she ain’t gots no numbers. She has man hands.
Anyways, I am George Earl and yous can calls me Cooter for short. That’s wat my momma calls me when I gets into trouble whens I was a kid. When I heared her say Cooter, I knowed I was in dire straights.
Okay, enuff about my family history. On to the mission at hand. I am a self proclaimed Southern Baptist auburn fan. I claims to be the number one auburn fan in the state I jest ain’t got it recorded as official yet. I been an auburn fan all my life except for that one time when my amma mater played the tigers. Yessir, my school played them tigers to a draw back when you could tie. I was so proud of them Fighting Pinto Beans when they tied Shug Jerdens tigers 53-53 way back yonder in the sixties. Who would have thunk it that Miss Maudie Lindesys Free Kindergardenen could stay with the mighty tigers that day? Buts I been a tiger ever since. Them bammers jest pull fors the wronged team. Imagines a perfect world where erebody was a auburn tiger. Oh wat a glorimous world that would be. Tills next time, this is George Earl Johnson III signin out but yous can call me Cooter.